For better or for worse?

It used to be that when exciting things happened in people’s lives or if people wanted to talk with their friends, they would walk or drive over to their house, sit down and have a conversation. The next best thing to actually spending time with this person was calling them, maybe texting them. The cell phone used to be one of the only mediated types of communication. Then email became popular, and then Facebook and Twitter emerged. Everything about interpersonal relationships has changed due to the social media phenomenon. It may seem like a long time ago that social media took over, but actually it wasn’t. Facebook didn’t go live to the public until September of 2006. This means that in the span of 6 short years, the way we handle relationships has changed. The question to ask is, has it changed for the better making relationships as meaningful as old face-to-face interaction?

As with any type of question there are two sides and opinions to answering this question. I can see the reasoning in both sides and am going to explore both.  

In terms of relationships between families, old friends, new acquaintances, and people who don’t live near each other, social media and interacting online can be very helpful. According to Jeff Hancock, PhD, director of graduate studies in the Department of Communications at Cornell University, “Allowing people to stay in touch in so many ways can strengthen our ability to have close relationships,” he says. Family and friends who get to video chat with their loved ones through the video chat application on Facebook and other programs, are appreciative that they can stay in touch without physically being in each others lives. It is nice to be able to stay in touch with old high school friends or it can be a nice way to contact someone that you haven’t heard from in a long time. Social media can also connect people on professional levels like through sites such as LinkedIn. This can be a helpful tool to find internships and job opportunities. If social media is used in the right way and doesn’t become something that people obsess about and base their life around, it can be a very unique tool that helps people stay connected throughout their lives.

            When it comes to romantic relationships social media can be more of a negative tool than a positive one. It opens up the opportunity for spying, stalking, jealousy, and assumptions, which ultimately ends in fights. According to experts “Facebook has caused “Digital intimacy,” in which studies have shown that 3/5 men and 4/5 women sleep together sooner than they normally would.” People are starting to confuse digital intimacy with true intimacy. The relationship status on Facebook has changed the definition of what a relationship is. Dating is becoming so publicized that the idea of true honest relationships is loosing value because the instant someone becomes “in a relationship” on Facebook, there are people who “like” it immediately which gives attention to the couple instantly. If there is attention when people start dating, then the attention when a relationship ends is even bigger. Then you deal with the people who stalk their ex’s pictures and get upset because it looks like they are hanging out and/or dating someone else that they know. The idea that we can know so much about someone’s life through one little page on a website changes everything. There is no more calling and asking how things are going, because more than likely people know what is going on in their friends lives through stalking them on Facebook or Twitter. The urge to reach out to friends or people you haven’t talked to in a while is less pressing. 

            I think the only solution to the social media phenomenon is to use it wisely and find the happy medium. Don’t always rely on Facebook or Twitter to catch up with old friends. Make it a goal to talk to call someone who you usually would talk to through text or social media.